“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”
– Steve Maraboli
Today is one year sober for my ex-husband and the father of my children, Keith. Towards the end of our marriage and after our divorce Keith made some choices to numb and push away what life had presented to him. Life had come to a sharp point 366 days ago when my son Ansel decided he no longer wanted to have a relationship with his father. The choice to not see his father made by Ansel was caused by a ripple effect from the choices Keith had made. Ansel’s choice affected Keith. The next day Keith walked into AA and admitted he had an addiction, this choice was the beginning of healing the past pain between Ansel and his father.
Several months ago I was asked to teach at the Dirty South Yoga Fest again this year. My instant reaction was “yes!”, my ego jumped at the chance for a stage and an audience to share my teaching. It just so happened that the event was the same weekend as an event in Colorado with Pema Chodrun and Krishna Das that I was excited about. I had a dilemma. I felt an obligation to teach for the benefit of my yoga studio and all the teachers at FORM yoga. And upon deeper insight I understood that I wanted to teach at the Dirty South Festival because it fed a part of me that needed attention and approval, a part of me that was ruled by scarcity. I knew with all my heart that I wanted to go on this journey to Colorado, my heart won.
Recently someone very close to me had a big decision to make that would forever change the course of his life. The choice was weighing heavily on his shoulders and he was searching everywhere for guidance. Does he leave everything he knows here for a stable job in Columbia or does he stay here and adapt to a new life with no job? There was fear and uncertainty in either decision.
The choices we make are not separate from who we are. We don’t have to hold on to past pain, trauma, or even our past victories, they are simply present in each choice we make. And ultimately we are the choices we make.
Karma-yoga – Yoga of Action
Jnaana-yoga – Yoga of Knowledge
Karma-yoga is a sacrifice, it’s the process of acting in any situation with out selfish motives. When we approach choices with the presence and mindfulness of all of our experiences, jjnaana-yoga, or the yoga of knowledge will inform our decision making. Ultimately this process is not separate, knowledge informs action and past actions become knowledge. And so it goes eternally, knowledge fusing into action and action into knowledge..
Each moment matters, the way we participate in the world matters beyond ourself. In each breath we take we have choices to make, new opportunities to learn and grow, new opportunities to take action. These moments make up our life. These choices inform who we are in every breath. It’s never too late.
Image on our Todos Santos Soul Vacation by 2Tphoto